Reflect

There are times in a training block where you just need to hang on to positives; to find that nugget of hope and inspiration that breeds a bit of faith to carry on. And at times they can be hard to find. With the head down and the focus on each run, there are occasions where it is important to step back and reflect. Looking back can be as rewarding as looking forward.

The big positive for me this week has been that I completed the furthest run of the year so far and in fact the furthest I have run since I completed the Venice Marathon back in October. A chilly start and some frosty, icy roads were the biggest obstacle to getting over the fourteen mile line. So a big tick for that, not just for the distance but also the time I spent on my feet.

Time on feet is something I have always felt was a vital component of long distance running. Just getting your body used to running for two, three, four hours and more is an art in itself. Before I began running, I could not imagine how you could run for an hour to complete a 10k race, far less go for longer than that. And now I recognise the value, in training, of simply spending a long time on your feet. But with that also comes the fact that the reason I am spending more time on my feet is that my long runs are quite slow, in comparison to my previous pace. Now pace is something which is entirely relative. Someone’s fast pace is someone else’s slow pace. This is very much about me.

My longest run this year

As a consequence, this is where the doubt creeps in among the positives, and why the positives are so crucial. On the face of it – given where I was only a few weeks ago – I should be over the moon at getting past fourteen miles. A lot of me is very satisfied, thinking “job done, move on”. But part of me is thinking “yes, but…..”.

I am the kind of person who is very self analytical – in both my professional and personal life – so I am always seeking to do better, and when I do not, I beat myself up about it a lot more than I should. So when I got in from the run and saw my pace, I will confess my heart sank a little. It felt a lot harder than the pace would suggest. It would be easy to then focus on that, rather than the simple fact that I did it.

“pause and reflect”

This brings me back to what I mentioned earlier, it is so important a times to pause and reflect, rather than getting caught up in the moment. So as I looked at my mile splits I stopped myself. I could not change anything about the run, and I certainly was not about to go back out and do it again, so I stopped, took a breath, and reminded myself that just over a month ago I was not able to run at all, yet here I was, casually boxing out a run that was greater than a half marathon distance. For many years – through what I now label my “fat period” – the concept of doing something like that would have been so alien as to fry my brain.

So it is up to me to be positive., to take the good things from what I do. Yes, analyse any performance but do not get lost in the weeds of detail. I need to take a look at the bigger picture and the bigger picture is that this run took me past one hundred miles for the month (160km). This run built on my previous long runs and was always going to be a significant step up after running nine miles last weekend, so it is great that I did it at all and that this is a reflection of the progress of a few weeks of solid effort just to even get to this stage.

Work this week intervened and made it more difficult to get out, so I had to swap out my Tuesday evening run for one on Tuesday morning, when the weather was unseasonably mild. It has been quite some time since I ran in just a t-shirt in shorts in late January, but there we were and it was worth it for the lovely sunrise sky.

Skies have been gorgeous this week

That run came after a solo five miler last Sunday where I did make a conscious effort to up my pace over the shorter distance and also to mix up my routes a little, just for a bit of variation and attempt to keep things fresh, so I drove a few miles from my house towards the university area of Aberdeen and started and finished my run there. It can be easy to get stale and bored of the same routes, particularly when you run from your house so this is another tactic I am employing to vary the training this time around.

An old mill was just one of the sites on the run

I have also continued my hill reps training with my JogScotland group and I do believe it is making a difference, as hard as it is at the time. Everything adds up in the end.

Training for any race is about preparation. Training for a marathon is an endurance event in itself, with many weeks of gradual buildup and I need to remind myself that this is precisely where I am right now. I am not at the end of the block, in fact I am not even close to the middle yet. Yes, there are many challenging weeks ahead as the mileage builds and builds but that is the point of a training programme. It is not about running a marathon at the start of it, it is all about running a marathon at the end of it.

Therefore, I will reflect on another week of progress. Another week of miles in the legs and hours on the feet. Another week of hill reps building strength. Another week closer to the ultimate goal. Eleven weeks to go.

Chill

The Rotterdam Marathon is now twelve weeks away. It feels simultaneously far away and yet staring me straight in the face. I feel seriously undercooked right now, but remarkably relaxed about it all. I guess that is what experience of running five marathons brings. It is not arrogance. I would barely even call it confidence. It is just that I know what I need to do to get round.

I was contacted by a friend this week who has signed up for their first marathon. We met up for a coffee and we chatted through what lay ahead and I passed on any advice I had to them, thinking back to when I did my first marathon in 2018. The big thing? Do not panic. Push back on those thoughts of being overwhelmed about what lies ahead and concentrate one week at a time.

Their marathon is in Edinburgh at the end of May, so is still some significant time away and they have plenty of time to train. In my case, three months may seem like a long way away but the reality is that I will be standing on the start line in next to no time, so why am I so chilled about it?

This would have been a good week to get worried. Cold, icy conditions, particularly on the streets around where I live made running nigh on impossible for a couple of days. My plan to get my midweek mileage in by running to where our hill reps session is then running back wen totally out the window due to the conditions, So I drove over, and then we ended up running on the grass as the path we intended to run on was just too slippery to even contemplate it. The following night work got in the way, so I could not run then either. So to an extent the training plan went out the window this week, the mileage went right down and the progress I feel I have begun to make ground to a bit of a halt.

A nice sunrise but sheet ice on both pavements and roads this week

But the reality is, for runners like me, is that this is all part of the process. The training regime is not going to be perfect. Not everything is going to work out alright all of the time. There are going to be days when life gets in the way (or the weather, or work, or something else), and this is all ok. I just need to accept it, move along and keep focused on the next stage of the training plan. Clearly, I want to stick to the plan as much as I can, but this week it has not been possible, for perfectly reasonable reasons. Accept it and move on.

The runs which I have done have been a bit of a test of fortitude. The reps I mentioned were harder going than usual due to being on the grass, the JogScotland five and a half mile run I did on Tuesday night was partly done in a blizzard with snowflakes blasted into our faces by a searingly cold northerly wind, and even the run I did on Saturday, while it was ultimately great, started on a freezing cold point with a gusty and icy wind doing its best to deter us from making a start.

A stunning sunrise over Aberdeen beach

But make a start we did and with these kinds of views to enjoy, then what is there not too like? Similar to many runs, those opening miles are hard. Trying to find a rhythm, trying to adapt your breathing to your effort, trying to get comfortable and into the groove so that you are not pushing too hard to get round.

I still feel like I am on the recovery trail just now, trying to work my way back to where I was a few months ago, but I definitely feel as if I am making progress on that trail. The five and a half mile JogScotland run I mentioned earlier felt a lot easier than I had anticipated, building on from my running last week. Then this weekend, while the mileage for my long run was down from the twelve miles of last week to nine miles this week (my programme features what I call “down” weeks where you ease back the miles before returning to the increased mileage the week after) those nine miles felt pretty good. The first mile was a bit of a write-off into the wind as I said, but other than that, I built into the run and for most of it felt pretty comfortable as I ran with friends Susan and Jeanette.

5km in to my 15km run

And that sense of feeling comfortable is all that I am after right now. I am not trying to go all out, I am not trying to beast myself with punishing distances and fast times. I am not trying to set any PBs or anything like that. I am trying to build within my self that sense of confidence that, when I get to the end of my long distance runs, that there is more in the tank. That there is more to come. That there is a further opportunity to build. And at this point, I believe I am heading in the right direction.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I hoped that the short runs I was doing then – as tough as they felt – would begin to bear dividends in a month’s time. I believe that they will and in fact I believe that the runs I am doing now will bear dividend a month on from that. The distances are going to increase for sure as each week rolls on, and there is an undercurrent here. That undercurrent is that every run takes me a step closer to the marathon start line, and every run gives me a little bit more confidence that when I do get there, I will be in half decent shape. I am not there yet, but the groundwork is getting done. Twelve weeks to go.

Ace of Base

There is a famous quote about madness which goes “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Now while there may be doubts about who said it first, there is no doubt that there is a lot of validity in the phrase itself. And that is why – even though you could argue you need to be mad to do a marathon anyway – for this marathon training block I am going to do some different things.

During the training for the Venice Marathon last summer, I really struggled to motivate myself to get out for the midweek run. This was the Wednesday night run, so not the ones I do on a Tuesday and Thursday with my JogScotland group. While I did it, there was no real pleasure in doing it, and for a lot of it, it just felt like a box ticking exercise to get the miles under my belt. Valuable yes, enjoyable no.

“I want to do something different”

Now that I have started the formal training for the Rotterdam Marathon (thirteen weeks away), I want to vary things a bit, while still sticking to the broad principles of what is in the training plan. (If anyone is interested I have used training plans from the American runner and coach Hal Higdon for most of my marathon and half marathon races). This means that I will continue to stick to the long run distances over the weekend and the other runs in the plan, but for the midweek run, I want to do something different.

For the last couple of years, our JogScotland group has arranged a hill reps training session for a Wednesday night. Now while this will not get me the distance which I would usually require, hill reps are a serious test of fitness and a great way to boost fitness, so I am planning to go to them whenever I can, at least over the next ten weeks. I also plan to run over to where the reps are taking place and run back, so that will also help me with my distance work. There may, of course, be things which will get in the way of that plan – not least work commitments – but I think it is a good goal to have, and to offer a bit of variation to what is already a pretty full on training schedule.

“grim in a good way”

I went to my first reps session this week and it was fairly grim, but grim in a good way. I found it very, very hard. The cold I have been suffering from is lingering around, really now manifesting itself as just lots of mucus which makes it quite hard to breathe when running hard. And one thing reps is, IS hard, so it was a struggle to keep going through the session.

An important thing about reps – like a lot of running – is to run to your own abilities and to run at your pace, ignoring what anyone else is doing. I know right now, I am nowhere near as fit as I have been in the past, so it was a case of keeping my head down, keeping going at my pace, and focusing on the longer term benefits which this will bring.

“building a base”

Having run over to the reps location, during the session, when I was struggling, I thought I would take up the offer of a lift home from some of the other runners, but I resisted temptation and when the reps were done, I dug in to run home too. Every run just now is about building a base. It is about the long term goal, it is not about how fast or slow I am going at the moment, it is about getting miles in my legs and minutes on my feet and that is really what I am focused on.

To that end, the mileage on my plan increased quite a lot this week – this is really due to the fact that I am joining the plan a few weeks in so am playing a bit of catch up to get to where I need to be. Having only run a couple of 10ks, this weekend’s long run was due to be twelve miles, which I did on Saturday.

Building the miles

As I lay in bed in the dark, hearing the wind howling down the street and the rain battering off the window, the greatest temptation was just to stay put, but as I said in my blog last week, marathon runners do hard things, so it was back to the old routine. Get up, have some breakfast, go back to bed for a bit, get dressed and get out.

To say it was miserable does the word miserable a disservice, it was truly grim. I had planned out a route which take me into the city centre and back out, but what this also meant that for most of the first five miles I was running into the wind, so the rain was blowing straight into me. I was well layered up of course – running in Aberdeen generally means you have all the necessary cold and wet weather gear – but it was as much a mental test as anything else to run through that part of the route.

I can’t remember the last time I ran with leggings on

It did, of course, mean that the route home was pretty much wind behind and for the last couple of miles the rain did begin to ease up, but living on top of a hill also meant that those miles were up, up and more up. All I wanted to do was get through it, get home and get warmed up. By the time I got to the final few streets around my house, a thought crept into my head that if I I really wanted to, I could keep going.

This was a truly positive turn of events, and probably the first time this year that I have felt a bit more positive about my running. I am not where I want to be, but I am further along than I was last week and that is all that I can ask for at this stage. To get through the reps session and to get through the long run have been big wins this week, it is now about taking these positives and continuing the progress next week. Thirteen weeks to go.

Hard Days

It feels very difficult right now. It will feel better in a month. If there are two sentences which are keeping me going at the moment, it is these two. It has been a bit of a tough week.

This was not too much of a surprise to be honest. After not running for three weeks during December and only just getting back out again around Christmas, I then had a further setback by picking up a cold around New Year. Nothing serious, not Covid, not the flu, but enough to set things back once more.

The start of this training block for Rotterdam feels very different to my previous marathon efforts, and really not what I anticipated when I signed up for it in the aftermath of the Venice marathon at the end of October. At that point, with a half marathon planned for November, I fully anticipated going into this block with a really solid base behind me and in good shape for the effort ahead.

“I am back to the start”

What has happened is pretty much the opposite. The injury and illness, in some ways, has made me feel like I am back to the start of my running journey. Clearly this is not the case, but in a world where how you feel mentally is as key as how you feel physically, it is difficult to convince myself of the opposite.

I talked last week in my blog about resetting expectations, and this is so true. Once again this week, as I felt bunged up by the cold, it took a big effort to get out the door and get some miles done, but at least I did it. That first run, in particular, was grim. Five miles in the dark on my own. It was about one thing. Getting through it.

During the run itself, I was still wary about the foot I injured more than a month ago. A few tweaks in my ankle right at the start of the run were the only indications of any issue and as I loosened up, those faded away and the foot felt fine. My breathing was laboured and heavy and I am not afraid to say that I really struggled. But one thing which marathon training (and running in general) has taught me is the value of resilience. Pushing through hard times is part of the game and returning to what I said right at the start, it is also about recognising that what is hard now, will feel better and easier the more that I do it.

“do not expect instant results”

As you can imagine, for many people, January can be the time for the start of their fitness journey. It was for me back in 2016 as I got my first Fitbit and started to walk my 10,000 steps a day, long before I was able to even consider running, and certainly way before I had any kind of ambition to do anything as daft as run a marathon. So my one bit of advice to anyone who is starting out, perhaps doing couch to 5k or some classes at the gym is that do not expect instant results. In fact do not expect results for some considerable time. It will feel hard and it will feel frustrating as it continues to feel hard. For weeks. But benefits will come if you persist. I am certainly banking on this and that is what will drive me through the next few weeks.

The other thing which has kept me going this week has been back out with friends; the social aspect of running. It can be both great for motivation – you feel you cannot pull out as you would be letting the other person or people down – and also as a way of taking your mind off some of the physical difficulties you may be going through. It can be difficult at times trying to keep a chat going when you feel that your lungs are about to leap out of your chest and slap you in the face for doing something so foolish as go for a run, but even if you are not chatting, it is just nice to be in other peoples’ company doing something you enjoy.

“determined to get through this phase”

It would be fair to say that the actual act of running is not bringing me a huge amount of joy right now, but that is ok. I am determined to get through this phase. As the effects of the cold wear off, every run, however long or short, will help along the way to the Rotterdam start line (and the Inverness Half Marathon race in nine weeks). It is about the cumulative effort when it comes to marathon training. One good run does not make a training programme, nor does one bad run ruin everything. It is about just keeping going. As long as you keep moving, you reach the finish line eventually.

I might be an extremely long way away from that marathon finish line right now, but the three runs I have done this week – five miles, 5k and 10k – are as important as any others. Important because I did them, even though they were painful, difficult, exhausting. The easy thing would have been to stay indoors and not go running at all. But marathon runners do not do easy things. We do hard things. And there are lots of hard days ahead.