Slight Return

The tricky thing about being out injured is trying to figure out when to come back. I think almost all of us make the same mistake. We all try and come back too early. This week I have been trying to balance that, with excitement about attending an awards ceremony. More on that to come.

Now to be fair, most of us are not top athletes or sports people who have physios and medical staff who can advise on a rehab programme and then perform a series of tests to work out when, in reality, the injury has healed properly and the time is right to return. For the rest of us mere mortals, it is much more a case of, “well, I think my ankle/leg/shoulder/knee (delete body part as appropriate) kind of feels alright so I am going to give it a bit of a bash”. Well it is for me anyway.

“as good rehab as I was going to get”

Having not run for more than a week after falling during the Bennachie Ultra Trail race, my wife and I were away in London for a few days. Usually when I am away I would be taking my running stuff with me to get in a few early morning runs in a different location, but this time I eschewed the kit, left it at home, and thought that the walking around the various sights of London would probably be as good rehab as I was going to get.

I have still been wearing an ankle strapping, varying it from wearing it during the day and taking it off at night, to then wearing it at night and taking it off during the day. This is to give my ankle the chance to flex in different ways as clearing when I am walking about my ankle and foot are being manipulated in different ways then when I am lying flat on my back for seven to eight hours while in bed.

Having done that for a few days, then I felt it was right to make a return, though it was with some trepidation. My next event is the Falkirk Half Marathon which is now just three weeks away, and while I am not overly concerned at a bit of a drop in my fitness levels by not running for a couple of weeks, I am more worried about not letting the ankle heal properly and then scuppering my chances to take part.

“very tentative”

But that has to be balanced with the need to confirm that my ankle is better and can stand up to a run. On Thursday night I returned to my jogscotland group with a plan to take out the five mile group. As it turned out, we combined the five and five and a half mile groups together and thankfully my ankle held up pretty well. The first few hundred yards were very tentative – not helped by it being a damp night and with lots of leaves on the ground at the moment, sometimes the ground underfoot was a bit treacherous – but the good news was that my ankle felt ok and fitness wise I felt quite relaxed.

My ankle is not back to being 100 per cent, and this weekend I have not done any running, but that was down to other priorities. That priority was being away again – this time to Edinburgh and Glasgow – and the main reason for this was that I was attending the Scottish Athletics and jogscotland awards, where I was nominated for Jog Leader of the Year.

“important to give something back”

I took up Jog Leading a couple of years ago now, taking the Leadership in Running Fitness course run by Scottish Athletics, which gives coaches the qualification to take out running groups, which I do through jogscotland. Having been with my jogscotland club for a couple of years prior to doing the course, I felt it was important to give something back to all of those who had helped me with my running.

Without doubt it has been among the most rewarding things I have done in my life. I have been fortunate to run, over time, with all of the various groups that we offer as part of the club, from people at the very start of their running journey up to much more experienced runners (and far better runners than me). All of the groups are different. For the longer distance groups, it is pretty much just crowd control and giving directions to make sure you hit the distance in the hour, but for the groups which feature the less experienced runners or those who are progressing through the groups, this is where I find the greatest reward. Encouraging, advising and helping runners achieve things they never thought they could do is a fabulous feeling. I would urge anyone who is thinking about becoming a Jog Leader to do it.

“a recognition of achievement”

To then be nominated and shortlisted for the award came as such a surprise, but it was lovely to receive the recognition, and then to attend the awards itself. Now, spoiler alert, I did not win, but we will come back to that. The awards was a great event, a recognition of achievement from jogscotland groups all the way up to those at the very peak of Scottish athletics. This was epitomised by the guest of honour being Eilidh Doyle, Scotland’s most decorated athlete, who spoke about her career.

She talked about how much she hated her experience of London 2012 (yes, really), her frustration at never breaking 54 seconds for the 400m hurdles (an extra stride before the last hurdle in her PB race where she finished in 54.09 still rankles with her today) and how her lap of honour at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow was the one experience she wished she could bottle up and keep. She also talked about the importance of the support of her family and her athletics club to help her achieve what she did.

The two biggest awards, Athlete of the Year and Para Athlete of the Year, were presented to real sporting superstars. Josh Kerr, the world 1500m champion, and Samantha Kinghorn, a double silver medalist at the world para championships this year, won the athlete and para athlete awards respectively.

While neither was there in person, Josh Kerr joined via Zoom, and it was great to hear him speak about his preparations for the Paris Olympics. What was also really nice was hearing him recognise the efforts of everyone within the athletics community who helped him to win his gold medal this year (and his previous bronze at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021). While he is the athlete who goes out to deliver, it is the support around him which helps him to achieve his goals.

The three nominees for the award, which Michael won

From my own perspective, I did not expect to win (if I am honest, I am still flabbergasted I was nominated in the first place), but I cannot deny I was not a little disappointed when my name was not read out when my category came up. I think all sports people are a bit competitive and it would have been lovely to have taken home the trophy . However, to simply be there and to enjoy the company of other jogscotland members from clubs across the country and be part of the event was good fun. Now it is a case of just keeping doing what I have been doing and, hopefully, helping more runners to achieve their goals.

This week I hope to run a bit more, going a bit further, and possibly trying a longish run this weekend. Some of this may depend on the weather, which has continued to be pretty grim, but weather generally does not deter me from running, even if it may give me pause for thought before heading out into the wind and rain to get some miles in. And I can take the inspiration from hearing from Josh Kerr and Eilidh Doyle in person to encourage me out the door.

Afters

The goal has been reached. The achievement achieve. The target that you had set is behind you. So what now?

A lot gets talked about and written in the build up to an event. There is the training. There is the taper. There is the prep for the day itself. There is nervous excitement at the star line. There is the race. There is the high of running down the finish straight. The joy of crossing the line. The elation of getting the finisher’s medal placed around your neck. The relief that it is done. The satisfaction of seeing your friends and family at the finish line. And then…….

Well, for me, then it splits into two parts. The first, and to me this is really important, is to celebrate. You have worked so hard to get to that finish line you need to mark the moment. Whether this is having a few beers or going out for a meal or just chilling on the sofa looking at your medal and munching a big bag of crisps, go for it. Celebrating is significant.

After the Bennachie Ultra Trail last Saturday, I made sure that I recognised what I had achieved. I did not go crazy, but I definitely had a few drinks, some snacks, food and treats in the house afterwards and reflected on what had been a bit of a bonkers day.

A nice beer and some crisps while relaxing

I felt slightly weird as I did not feel particularly hungry, which is unusual for me after a big event. I am never normally hungry immediately after a race – they had lovely soup and other stuff at the finish, but if I am honest, I was really just forcing it down as I knew it would do me good as opposed to enjoying it – but normally within a few hours I could eat anything (and everything) that passed by my nose. But not this time. I felt ok, just not hungry.

Staying on the theme of celebration for a little bit longer, the race also offered free race photos. This is one of the big joys of smaller events, as opposed to the big ones where a package of photos can cost an arm and a leg and there is no guaranteed any of them will be decent. I was aware of the photographer who I passed on Saturday, and did my best to look happy when I saw him (you just have to, right?), but trust me, the picture makes me look a hell of a lot better than I was feeling at that moment.

Heading down off Bennachie

We get the celebration part out of the way then, what about after that? I want to make it clear that this is just my view – this is no criticism of anyone who does something different – but after a big race, a bit of rest is always on my agenda. I put my body through a lot when I do my events, and I am not the youngest runner on the block at fifty four years old, so I want to give my body a break.

This usually means no running, at least for a week, after a marathon. And I regarded the effort of last weekend to be near equivalent to that, so much so that I have placed my medal on the same hanger as my marathon ones.

Adding it to my marathon collection

Now this time around, I have not had much option about not running, due to the injury I suffered during the race, but I want to explore why I think it is important to rest a little bit more. I totally get how frustrating it can be after a race, where you are fit as hell and feel great, to not go out and run. I think there is a huge temptation to get back out and to get back out quickly, as the elation of the achievement continues into the days after the race. Sometimes it is almost a primordial urge to just get out there!

After some big weeks recently, this week has been a bit of a contrast!

But I genuinely believe there is very little to be gained by getting back into running too quickly after a big race. Enjoy the moment. Have a break. The fitness levels really will not drop by taking one or two weeks off after something like a marathon. It is important, however, to stay motivated and to have that desire to get back out again.

Ankle strapped, foot up. Recovery underway

For me, a bit of walking is my usual routine after a major event. I have gone for a recovery massage after one of my marathons, but I did not feel that it made a great deal of difference. The DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Strain) is where your thighs and calves can feel like concrete in the days following a race, particularly stiffening up if you are not active, so doing something is a good plan. But I would argue, that that something is not running. If not walking, then perhaps swimming or some gentle aerobic exercise.

“it was pure hell!”

What I would say, is that when you feel ready, then do get back out. I would usually go for maybe parkrun or a five kilometre run the weekend after a big race as a good way of getting back into things. I would also point out – and you might not like hearing this – but sometimes some of these early runs back make me feel like I have never run before! I vividly remember a nine mile run I did after one of my marathons which in training would have felt like nothing, but a few weeks after the race, it was pure hell!!

The flip side of this, is that I also know of some people, after achieving something as major as a marathon, who have barely run since. And good luck to them. They achieved something massive and that was enough. But for me, running is much more than just race medals and times. It is a social event. It is about friends. It is about what you prove to yourself every time you go out. So do not let your race be your last run, but just take your time before you set out once again.

“I like to have targets”

That can be about finding the motivation to go again, and some really struggle with that and I get it. I like to have targets, so usually after I race I look for another event to sign up for. It does not have to be a big thing, it could be a local five or ten kilometre race, but having that target to aim for is something I regard as significant. If I have a goal, then I can aim for it and use it to motivate me to keep going out.

So no running for me this week, to allow my ankle to recover, and maybe no running again next week. My ankle is much better than it was at the start of the week, but is still bruised and I am wearing a supportive strapping during the day. When I do start running again, I will continue to wear that for a bit to offer additional protection. What I will not do is run and take painkillers to mask the pain. That is only going to open up a whole other world of issues.

Am I frustrated? Yes. Would I have preferred to be out walking this week? Yes. Would I wish to be going out for a run this weekend? Yes. Does it really matter? In the grand scheme of things, it really does not. I will get out again soon enough. And I will be well rested and recovered when I do.

Passing the Ultra Test

I am working in London. It is a weekend where the temperatures are in the high 80s Fahrenheit. It is humid as hell. I have been out for a run, feel a bit of an injury and decide to abandon my plan to go for a Sunday morning run. And while all of this is going on, I am signing up to run my first ultra race. This was six weeks ago.

Now, here I am, standing at the start line of the Bennachie Ultra Trail Race with a few hundred other runners, facing almost eighteen miles of running and with more than three thousand feet of elevation. The temperature is only a few degrees above freezing. A cold, blustery wind is blowing around, with the forecast for forty to fifty mile an hour gusts and potentially more on the exposed tops of the course (Bennachie is a hill near Inverurie in the North East of Scotand.) Holy crap, I am bricking it.

With Susan at the start

In fact, I have been bricking it since I signed up. It was a bit of a last minute thing. My friend Susan got in through a wait listed place and I said that if she got in I would try as well. So I did. And during that work trip to London I got the notification that I was in, and after the initial frisson of excitement faded away, the enormity of what lay ahead began to sink in.

I am not a natural trail runner, as anyone who has read this blog for a while will know, yet I was lining myself up for this massive challenge. But you also might be thinking, why has he never mentioned this before? The truth is, I had only told a few people I was doing it. Why? Because despite everything I have achieved in my running, the marathons, the halfs, the pbs, whatever, I was seriously worried that in this race I might embarrass myself. If I am totally honest, I doubted I would even start, even spending time secretly hoping that the event might get called off and I would be spared the humiliation of being totally out of my depth, in territory that is so far out of my comfort zone. I was worried I would finish last.

“I seriously doubt myself”

This might sound a bit crazy, but it is also true. Despite everything you might think, I seriously doubt myself all the time. I may come across as a confident person, but inside I am constantly questioning what I do and how I do it. Perhaps that is what gives me the drive to push myself. And this was, without doubt, going to push me very hard.

The elevation chart for the Bennachie Ultra Trail race

For most of the past week, I have thought of little else other than this. The elevation chart for the course. The distance itself, almost eighteen miles, was ok, but this was off the scale bonkers. Even the marathons I have run had nothing like this for an elevation profile. Not even remotely close. Therefore, the week before the race was about one thing, preparing myself mentally to get through it. I went into the race with one goal in mind. Get to the finish line, whatever happens. And if I come last, I come last, but I will at least have the satisfaction of doing something which many others would not even contemplate. Little did I know at this stage, how important that mental preparation would become.

Beautiful views on the course

Things started well, the first few miles were undulating but we were relatively sheltered from the wind and then we began climbing up. On the very steep parts I chose to walk, recognising a need to conserve energy early on as there was a long way to go, but as we got to five and six miles in I began to feel good and got through to the first serious climb, which was so steep and rocky that running up it, for me at least, was impossible.

“And then I fell”

I got up onto the more exposed parts of the hill and the wind was much more of a factor, but thankfully it was primarily behind or across. Some parts of the course were boggy, some parts of the course were rocky. It was a case of run where I could but this was ok. We passed the first couple of the lower peaks and headed to the highest point on the course. And then I fell.

It was near the ten mile mark and through a very uneven section of the course. In trying to avoid boggy section of the path, I stepped into the heather on the side and my left ankle gave way. I cried out in pain as I went down and i could not initially get up.

A trail race can be very lonely, but at this section, there were a couple of other runners nearby who both stopped. One came and helped me, telling me to stay down and to try and rotate my foot. Thankfully I could, and while it was very tender, I at least managed to get up and began to put some weight on it. I am now thinking, “I am ten miles in, there are around eight to go, I am up on an exposed hillside.” I will spare you the other expletives.

“I need to get to the finish”

All sorts of thoughts were flooding through my head, but one overriding thought remained. “I need to get to the finish.” I knew then that any hope of a time close to what I had considered was out the window. This was about just making it through.

I began walking. The course here was very uneven and then included a scramble over rocks to get to the highest point of the course. This was a nightmare. The marshalls at the top – and kudos to them, they were immense for their help and vocal support – asked if I was ok to continue. The wind here was really extreme. I felt like I was going to get blown off the hill, so I was really relieved when I made it to the path down and into a bit of shelter.

“trying to power walk”

I was taking it very gingerly now. I began to jog a bit on the flatter sections of the course and the paths here were wide and relatively even. Another peak passed by, then another. I was walking now for the majority of it. I was so concerned that if I did anything else to my ankle I would be in serious trouble, so any time the path was rocky or uneven I was walking. I was trying to power walk, but I certainly was not running.

I passed the final peak and began heading down. Some of the downhill sections were seriously steep. In a couple of places I went down on my backside to make sure I made it down ok (if my ankle had not been hurt these sections would have been fine). And then I made it down to the lower reaches. This is when it should have been a straightforward case of just running along gently undulating paths to the finish, but by now, running was pretty painful. I could only do a few hundred yards at a time, worried that with each step I was potentially damaging my ankle more.

“I was done. Where was the finish?”

Since falling, I had barely seen another soul on the course, save for the amazing marshalls who were fantastic with their support, but on those last few miles I as overtaken by other runners. All encouraged me, some offering to run with me, but I was done. I just had to finish. One corner, turned into another corner, turned into another path. Where was the finish? And then, there it was, one more corner and donwhill to the finish line. I hobbled down those last couple of hundred yards, trying to run and crossed the line, with my friend Susan there to meet me (she ran an amazing time and finished in the top ten females overall and second in her age group which was immense).

Celebrating with our medals at the end

The race did not work out as I had hoped, and in the immediate aftermath I felt quite down, purely because of what had happened with the fall and the injury. That really prevented me from having the race which I had wanted. But gradually I have come to appreciated what I achieved, simply by doing it.

“something deep inside”

Going back to what I said earlier about mentally preparing myself for the race. This was what got me through, there is no doubt about it. Just keeping going, regardless of how I felt, was down to mental strength. Of course physical fitness came into play too, but it was something within which got me to the end. Tapping into that well when I needed it, something deep inside my soul, that this race was not going to beat me. This fall was not going to beat me. I was going to finish. That was what mattered in the toughest of moments up on that hill.

I do like a wooden medal

Now I am going to take a bit of a break. My ankle is swollen and will take time to heal. My thighs are protesting at every inch of that elevation. And my back, mostly due to my power walking bent over posture, is not exactly happy either. The physical things will heal. As I have said many times before, pain is temporary, glory is forever. And I have the medal to prove it. It is going to be placed on the same hanger as my marathon medals, as a recognition of how tough it was and how much I value the achievement. I am an ultra trail race finisher. Forever.

Strive

The former football player, Gary Lineker, once said that the best way to watch Wimbledon play was “on Ceefax” (kids, ask your parents). Now he made this comment in reference to how dull they were, how they played a certain brand of football that was not particularly attractive on the eye.

In some ways, the running equivalent of watching on Ceefax is dot watching. This is when you can track a runner during a race via an app or a website and you can (depending on the athlete and the distance of course) watch the dot that represents them slowly make their way around the course. I did this myself a couple of weeks ago when people I knew were running in the Berlin Marathon, and it was great to be able to do so.

“every couple of minutes. Refresh. Refresh”

But last weekend, when it came to the Loch Ness Marathon at Inverness, where a number of friends were running, there was no tracking. So rather than dot watching, I spent a bit of time around when I thought they would finish, just refreshing the Strava app. Just sitting there. Every couple of minutes. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. This was even worse than watching on Ceefax.

But over time, one friend’s result would pop up. Then another, then another, until all of my friends had finished and achieved that amazing goal of completing a marathon. For some it was their first, others were more experienced. For all of them, it marked the culmination of months of training and hard work to get there, and I was thrilled that they all did so well.

“my luck with ballots is not great”

But it also gave me a bit of FOMO, so taking that into consideration I have entered into the ballot for the Berlin Marathon next year. Now my luck with ballots is not great – multiple applications for various races and only one success, the New York Half Marathon last year, which was fantastic – but you never know so let’s see how this goes.

In terms of my own running this week, I achieved one of my main goals for the year, that was to get past one thousand running miles. This is something I first achieved back in 2019 and I have been really pleased to have continued to do so every year since. I do not think this year I will reach the distance I have run in previous years, but I am more than happy with what I have done. There is no magic to it, it is simply about being consistent and turning up regularly. It is habit as much as it is motivation.

The point where I hit the one thousand mile mark

Now you may be able to work out from the picture that this was taken on a rather wet day, and that this is not in my usual territory of running around the streets of Aberdeen.

This was because I had gone out with my friend Susan (and her dog Scout) to do a bit of trail running around a hill called Bennachie in Aberdeenshire. This is part of the preparation for the trail ultra marathon I hope to do next year, but anyone who knows me will tell you that trail running is not my bag. It is not my bag at all.

“Bambi on ice and a giraffe”

To put it bluntly, I am a big unit. I am quite tall with long legs so any time I run on an uneven surface I am a blend of Bambi on ice and a giraffe and I really lack confidence in finding my footing. Even though we may be running in beautiful countryside with stunning views, I spend the vast majority of my time looking down to see precisely where each footstep is going to land to make sure I do not end up going head over heels into the heather.

The view looking down towards the River Don

We had planned a route, but when we got there we then discovered that the route actually went from another of the car parks which are dotted around the bottom of the hill area. This meant a bit of a detour to get to the route, which also meant, rather than a relatively long but less steep climb, we were heading straight up. A thousand feet straight up. In around three miles. We had been going for what felt like ages when Susan said to me, “we are not even at 5k yet”. This did not really instill a great deal of confidence in me to keep going up what felt like the North face of the Eiger.

As you can see, the first three miles were “fun”

The other thing was the weather. While the forecast had been for light rain, it was a bit heavier than that, and while I had started with my rain jacket on, it quickly became way too warm to wear it so I took it off. The further we went the heavier the rain got, so we got a bit of a soaking. That being said, we did manage to make it to the top of the Oxen Craig peak of the hill.

Near the top of the Oxen Craig peak on Bennachie

It was not particularly cold, save for the bit when we were right at the top and it was quite windy, but on the way down, we also went through some extremely rocky parts and with it being wet I was extremely careful (i.e slow as anything) to make sure I navigated these parts safely. What was slightly frustrating was that in some parts the paths were so uneven and muddy, even though we were heading down you could not run on them, so there were large parts which involved walking. We also took another wrong turning on the way back down just to add to the fun!

I guess this is part of trail running that I need to understand better; the times when walking is the right thing to do rather than trying to run. And that applies to going up as well as going down. As I wrote last week, I am extremely conscious of the dangers on the descent. But we got through it. I got to my one thousand mile target and we made it back down to the car to run another day. I think that is why we are both looking so happy here!

Almost back in the warmth of the car!

So while this run help me achieve a big target for the year, something else has happened which I have no control over, but has left me very touched. I found out last week – but was sworn to secrecy until the formal announcement – that I have been nominated for Jog Leader of the Year at the annual JogScotland Awards. I was totally gobsmacked when I received the email about being on the shortlist of three as I had no idea I had even been nominated. Then when I saw the nomination, I was truly stunned.

The nomination text

I do not think I am anything special. I enjoy running and becoming a Jog Leader has been an amazingly positive thing for me to have in my life. I try my best and I try and help other runners if I can. It is incredible for me to read these words and to realise that this is about me. I am honoured and humbled in equal part. And if I have inspired anyone along the way then that is a bonus. I just think I do what I do. Nothing special.

I have no idea if I will win – I would like to, of course – but I think in many ways I have already won, simply by being nominated and getting to this point of my running life. The ceremony is in a few weeks’ time. Something to look forward to, regardless of what happens.