Sometimes, just sometimes, the best thing I can do to help my running is to do something really simple. Do not run.
One thing I have learned through my marathon exploits are the value of rest days. Giving your body a chance to recover from the battering you put it through is essential in my view, as a way of allowing your muscles to build, your joints to ease and your legs to recover. But I guess what I am discovering now is that there are sound mental reasons for also doing this and you do not need to be training for a race to realise it.
“was putting myself … under pressure”
I had never really thought of it in this way before, but allowing my brain to switch off a bit when NOT going for a run and not feeling under pressure to constantly go for a run are as equally essential as resting up the rest of you. There was no doubt after the marathon I was putting myself unnecessarily under pressure to start back running. That, in turn, meant I felt I HAD to get out. And then when I did get out I resented the fact that I was actually out. None of this was conducive to anything positive to be honest. Any sense of enjoyment was lost.
Things reached a bit of a head last week as I wrote about in the blog and that then prompted a bit of a re-evaluation of what I was doing and also why I was doing it. The only person putting any kind of pressure on me was myself. Nobody else was dragging me out the door, forcing me to stick on my shoes and run. It was entirely in my own head. So I made the choice – a really simple one – just to have a bit of a break. In the evenings I was going to rest up.
“I had a chat with a few friends”
The other thing that happened was that I had a chat with a few friends about it. That in itself made the decision easier. Simply having another view; stepping back to reflect on what I had achieved and recognising that nothing I was going to do in the short term was going to have any real bearing on what my fitness levels would be like in the longer term really helped.
So much so that come the weekend, I felt ok to venture back out again. It was also such a beautiful morning on Saturday that it began to rekindle those feelings about why I run.
The run flowed a bit, certainly a heck of a lot more than anything I had done post-marathon, and while not perfect there was a sense of satisfaction at doing it. It also reminded me that this is just supposed to be a bit of fun. It is not something that I should feel pressurised into doing, nor guilty for doing it. It is time for me. For my health. For my soul. It should make me feel good about myself.
Friends also encouraged me to join other challenges, so on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I did three runs to complete the virtual Barcelona Marathon. Running the actual marathon in Barcelona last year was such a magical experience I did not hesitate to sign up when I saw they were doing the virtual edition, particularly as it was one where you could spread out the effort. (You can read my blog about the actual race last year here).
Sunday’s run was over a half marathon distance with my friend Susan, and while I found it a bit hard going, it was so great to run with company again that the miles sped by. On Monday and Tuesday I ran on my own, but with a purpose to get to the finish line and complete the magical 26.2 mile (42km) distance.
I found Tuesday physically very hard. It was a bit of a reminder to me, to be honest, NOT to push myself too much once again. I had run for four days straight and that was taking its toll again. And if I wanted to be doubly sure, all I needed to do is look at the selfie I took when I finished. I did not mean to close my eyes for this, but so much sweat was dripping into them I was struggling to keep them open!!
The other thing about Tuesday’s run, and this is maybe partly why I found it hard going, was that it was late at night. The reason for that was that I had a work Zoom meeting that ran on until 9pm. But at least on Zoom the other people in the meeting can only see your top half as I was all set up to go as soon as I got finished!!
As well as the virtual marathon, other friends have encouraged me to sign up for a cumulative challenge to record a certain number of runs in the month – I do find these types of challenge a great motivator – and I have begun to do this.
But the important thing after Tuesday was that on Wednesday I did not go out for a run, then on Thursday I went out just for half an hour to do an easy 5k. I cannot really remember the last time I did that. I know that this might sound simple and easy, but I think it has been a reflection of how into my running I have been this year. It has been difficult at times to get a sense of perspective about many things in recent months, and this has just been another one.
One other positive from this week was receiving my medal for the virtual Vitality London 10k run I did in the immediate aftermath of the marathon (one of the runs where I REALLY struggled). It was so nice to receive the reward and to add it to my medal collection. I know this may seem shallow, and that the medals mean nothing to anyone other than me, but I love them and am constantly amazed that I have managed to achieve things I would have never imagined only a few years ago. Never give up.
There is no doubt that the benefits which running brings far outweigh the negatives I have recently experienced – the fitness, the social aspect (though that is limited right now), the enjoyment of the open-air and the time on my own are all true positives.
I just need to make sure that along with all of that, I do not fall back into that position that I am forcing myself, that I just HAVE to run, regardless of how I feel or any sense of enjoyment I get from it. I will run when I want to and remember WHY I want to in the future. And yes, I am planning to run this weekend. I think the joy of running is seeping back, I simply need to make sure I retain a sense of balance about what it is all about.
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